From David Robertson at The Moderate Voice:
Back in 2016, one of my Melmacian friends heard the song The Twelve Days of Christmas. She thought that the gifts in the song were the gifts that she needed to give me, and that is what she did. Every day for twelve days, I received every gift for that day mentioned in the song.
So, on the 13th day of Christmas, I returned these gifts for me:
12 Drummers Drumming (I don’t need a marching band in my house.)
22 Pipers Piping (I wish that they would pipe down.)
30 Lords a Leaping (Since when is the game of leap-frog a Christmas activity?)
36 Ladies Dancing (If “Dancing with the Stars” didn’t want them, then why should I?)