found online by Raymond
From The Onion:
Scientists Discover Oil Originally Buried Deep Underground By Early Humans Desperate To Shield Humanity From Its Consequences
“Despite their cognitive limitations, Paleolithic humans could reason well enough to understand this mysterious fuel was plunging their world into chaos, so they used their primitive stone tools and dug as far down as they could, often hiding their oil in remote, inhospitable locations such as deserts or the Arctic wilderness. Of course, they assumed no person would ever be foolhardy enough to unseal the unspeakable evil they had buried.”