From The Onion:
DEATH VALLEY, CA
“For the ninth and final time, this is not a cult but a programmatic intramental polysymbolic thought-system for enhancing mental paravirility and omnispiritual psychowellness as clearly stated in Protocol 117,” said Elder Healer Sister-Brother Camilla 82 Eridani, adding that this is the exact sort of transgram-sodden thought violation from which all must refrain, as that is the type of word used by those that seek to sow division amongst us.“For the ninth and final time, this is not a cult but a programmatic intramental polysymbolic thought-system for enhancing mental paravirility and omnispiritual psychowellness as clearly stated in Protocol 117,” said Elder Healer Sister-Brother Camilla 82 Eridani, adding that this is the exact sort of transgram-sodden thought violation from which all must refrain, as that is the type of word used by those that seek to sow division amongst us.