found online by Raymond
From The Borowitz Report:
The study, which is raising eyebrows with its startling conclusions, finds that the most reliable predictor of gun violence is the “prevalence of quiveringly fearful politicians in positions of power.”
As part of the study’s methodology, researchers examining gun violence compared countries ruled by non-cowards with those ruled by gutless toadies.
“In countries ruled by non-cowards, such as New Zealand, gun violence is virtually nonexistent,” the study claims.