From driftglass:
According to the brochure, the Amazing Never Trumper GOP Cerebro machine is capable of putting every Never Trumper into instant, psychic contact with every Republican anywhere on Earth. This is what allows Never Trumper to collect a steady income from the Beltway media speaking with absolute, sweeping authority about the state of mind the Republican Party in Murrica.
The Amazing Never Trumper GOP Cerebro machine also gives Never Trumpers the power to know with fine-grained precision the subtle gradations in the minds of each individual Republican and Independent. For example, they know with perfect telepathic certainty which Republicans are “Trump supporters” and which Republicans and Independents are merely “Trump voters”.
They also claim to know to an astonishing degree of accuracy which Republicans and Independents are teetering on the fence, and the individual reasons why each fence-straddler is unable to choose between the Party of Affordable Health Care and the Party of Racist, Neofascist Baby-Cagers. And based on this unassailably definitive inside knowledge of the deepest thoughts and feelings of each individual Republican and Independent on Earth, every Never Trumper is positively brimming with stern strategic directives for us poor, stupid Dems who are Doing It All Wrong!
And because of their unique, mutant telepathic insights, the stern directives from any Never Trumper are always identical to the stern directives from every other Never Trumper