found online by Raymond
From The Onion:
“If you have a friend who has attempted to pass off objects like a bulky bookshelf or rickety night stand, it could suggest that the person may be headed in the direction of signing a new lease,” said lead researcher Sandra Maiworm, urging Americans to keep an eye out for loved ones suddenly trying to part with their coffee maker or blender, or making seemingly innocuous comments about being unable to attend any block parties after the end of the month.