found online by Raymond
From The Onion:
“It’s been a great honor to serve my country and the Trump administration, but nothing is more important than the strong bond shared by two longtime friends, not even a job, so rather than jeopardize that deep connection any longer, I have decided to leave my post,” said Kelly, noting that lately his relationship with the president has been strained due to the boss–employee dynamic they’ve been trying to keep professional over the last year and a half, adding that he looks forward to returning to the days when he and his best friend would spend hours talking on the phone or taking day trips to go antiquing.