found online by Raymond
From The Onion:
“Where did everyone go? Guys, I’m really scared right now. Anyone? Bobby? Bobby, where are you?” said the frightened Borland, 41, who reportedly dashed through an apartment complex in a frantic effort to find his teammates and broke down in tears when he was unable to locate anyone he recognized. “Where did everyone go? Don’t leave me alone here, I’m so scared. These guys are like my family—what if I never see them again? Anyone? Please, someone, help me!”