FairAndUNbalanced.com

 
From The Onion:

Defense Attorneys Vow To Present Irrefutable Evidence Proving Jeffrey Epstein Billionaire

“The authorities are treating my client, a man who has shown himself to be nothing but an affluent citizen of his wealthy community, like a common millionaire. I am confident that after the jury is given all the facts, they will find the defendant very, very rich.” At press time, Epstein’s legal team released numerous photographs of a private 70-acre island that they say would completely exonerate their client.

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From our favorite Earth-Bound Misfit:

The stench of people who are not allowed to clean themselves is so bad that it permeates the guards’ clothing.

The lead villain is a Border Patrol sector chief[1] named Aaron Hull. Hull seems to be one of the people who, arguably, deliberately engineered the overcrowding at Clint and other facilities. To Hull, as wll as Trump and Miller, cruelty and degradation are part of their plan.

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From The Life and Times of Bruce Gerencser:

Racism is in the air thanks to Donald Trump. What was once said in secret behind closed doors is now publicly vomited on social media, blogs, and news sites. I live in an overwhelmingly white area. Confederate flag-waving knuckle-draggers are common, as are make Make America White Again® Trump supporters. In 2016, Trump overwhelmingly won in the Ohio counties of Williams, Defiance, Henry, and Fulton — rural northwest Ohio. Blacks make up less than one percent of the population, Hispanics/Latinos, seven percent. The Hispanic/Latino population is a reflection of the fact that farmers once used large numbers of migrant workers to pick crops. Some migrants who made the trek from Mexico to Ohio stayed after completing their work. They quietly go about their lives, increasingly worried that ICE might show up at their doors, destroying everything they have built and worked for. As a teenager, I knew a number of people who were in the United States “illegally.” To the person, they were productive members of society.

Rural northwest Ohio is my home, even though politically, religiously, and socially I have little in common with most locals. I have been surrounded by overtly racist people most of my life, including in the churches I pastored in this area. If you think Jesus is an antidote for racism, think again.

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From David P. Greenberg at MadMikesAmerica:

It was the brutal winter of 1775. The army named after the great George Washington had gathered in Boston, New York, and other cities. They looked out into the harbor, where they saw the ships of the evil Cornwallis of Yorktown.

As the Ramperds red glared, these Patriots sang the American song named after the famous General, Thomas National.

Suddenly, one of the new invisible F-35s arrived. The pilot was a great American and a young Secretary of State, Ivanka Trump. “What a ten,” the army said. She spoke those words that sent fear into the Cornwallis’ heart.”My daddy’s on his way.”

Soon, Trumpforce One, the pride of the Space Force, arrived.

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From author John Scalzi:

In the wake of a recent mild uptick in people being angry at me for existing, a question in email, which I am paraphrasing for brevity:

What do you think these people are hoping for with these posts? What’s their endgame, and how do they think it will affect you?

Well, in the case of the angry member of old-line fandom, I don’t think there was any expectation for anything to happen except her venting to other members of old-line fandom, which she did, and good for her. I hope she feels better and can move on to healthier uses of her time. That’s all that needs be said about that.

In the case of the alt-right dingleberry actively hoping for the collapse of traditional publishing (or at least Tor Books), which will presumably take me down with it: I think the plan there was reassuring the other dingleberries with whom he corresponds on social media that, yes, indeed, one day my virtue-signaling self will get mine, along with all of traditional publishing (or at least Tor Books), and what a glorious day that will be for them. As this particular alt-right dingleberry self-publishes on Amazon, there’s also the implication that upon the smoking ruins of traditional publishing (or at least Tor Books), and the dessicated bones of all the SJWs that toiled there, will come a new age where these alt-right dingleberries and their work will finally take their rightful place at the top of the science fictional heap, while I and my sort, I don’t know, maybe suck quarters out of vending machines to survive.

And, I guess, sure, maaaaaybe? But probably not?

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There is a common thread that runs through Donald Trump’s history, one that gives us the likely reason for his very specific hostility toward one segment of immigrants.

Perhaps investigators should have suspected something was wrong with the confessions. There had been a series of beatings and robberies that night. The teenagers had confessed to being there, either as secondary participants or as passive witnesses. The confessions had matched those incidents.

The beating, rape, and near death of the Central Park jogger had been especially brutal. It was a horrible crime. But the details of the confessions did not correspond with that crime, as they had with the others. And the time and location were off. Central Park is huge, one of the reasons it is famous. The perimeter is 6 miles long. At the time of that assault, teens were running wild in another part of the park, miles away. The confessions did not make a lot of sense.
Continue reading “What Colors Trump’s Hatred of Immigrants?”

• tengrain at Mock Paper Scissors displays the now famous cartoon that put into stark emotional terms the tragic moral obtuseness taking place on our southern border. Cartoonist Michael de Adder was immediately released by a publishing company, which now denies the illustration had anything to do with the timing. Coincidence is a powerful force.
   
• Yellow Dog at Blue in the Bluegrass watches as Pete Buttigieg sandblasts fellow Christians for hypocrisy, for going against the teachings of Jesus. I and fellow Christians are compelled to agree with him. Yellow Dog is having none of it. Saving Christianity from Christian conservatives serves to rescue Christianity from its own evil. The idea is that Christianity is intrinsically evil. Attempts at reform serve only to prolong and expand the evil.
   
• In related news, The Onion is on the scene as God orders all followers to swallow cyanide capsules in preparation for their voyage to Alpha Centauri.
   
• Our favorite Earth-Bound Misfit reviews my President’s Fourth of July presentation and wonders why he couldn’t afford a fact-checker to tell him that the Continental Army, named after a great American Commander-in-Chief (huh?), did not attack airports. She brings brief samples of hilarious internet reaction.
   
  When I think of our great first Commander-in-Chief, the one after whom the Continental Army was named, I have to wonder: Just what would have been the reaction of President Continental?

Continue reading “Rio Death, Christian Evil, Cyanide Communion, 4th, Trump Blows It”

 
From Jack Jodell at The Saturday Afternoon Post:

He has never known poverty in his entire life, so he merely looks at these desperate people who are trying to enter this country any way they can as being bothersome nuisances. That is why he orders these unfortunates to be locked up in camps, many of them with grossly inadequate food and medicine, and even soap, toothpaste, and toothbrushes – lacking proper beds and even blankets!

Sanitation? Who needs that?

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From nojo:

Mad had a “reputation”. We had to campaign for permission to read it. Dad finally relented, and of course it didn’t take long until he was swiping our issues so he could read them.

Don’t recall what Dad thought of the infamous middle-finger cover. Not one of our favorites, although it’s inescapably memorable. Too on the nose.

Better: The cover with the giant barcode, stating they hope it breaks every supermarket scanner in the country. That was their response to being required to desecrate their cover with a barcode in the first place. That was Mad’s first barcode cover.

That was Mad.

We remember those covers. We remember those artists. We remember the cross-section of an engine, paired with a “happy section”. We remember the “Nixxon” sign above the White House — timed to when Enco/Esso changed its name — and the tagline “But it’s still the same old gas!” We remember that someone sent a letter to the editors on MADison Ave., the envelope bearing nothing but a smiling Alfred E. Neuman and a zip code. We remember the letter being successfully delivered.

We remember a lot. We haven’t looked at those issues in more than forty years.

And now, well, looks like it’s gone.

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From Batocchio at Vagabond Scholar:

Thursday, July 04, 2019

I’m afraid this is not a happy Independence Day. As several people have pointed out, we have tanks in DC and concentration camps on the nation’s Southern border, both at the insistence of Donald Trump. The cruelty of the camps is the point; it’s a feature, not a bug.

Most years for Independence Day, I post some videos, but this year, I thought I’d link a great poem I just discovered, “A New National Anthem,” by Ada Limón. Follow the link for the full poem, but this may be my favorite section:

And what of the stanzas
we never sing, the third that mentions “no refuge
could save the hireling and the slave”? Perhaps
the truth is that every song of this country
has an unsung third stanza, something brutal
snaking underneath us as we blindly sing
the high notes with a beer sloshing in the stands
hoping our team wins.

It’s a great piece and timely. Check out the rest.

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